thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
