so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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