So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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