Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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