you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
