She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
