i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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