her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
