Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
