He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
