Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
