I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
dude. I can hear the air.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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