he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
