I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
