i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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