how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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