ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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