Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
there's paper in my vomit.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
