yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
