Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
