Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
