All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
