i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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