He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
