How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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