I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
