please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
