when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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