Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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