I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
