Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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