Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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