am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
