I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
