I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
