I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
