blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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