So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
