I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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