I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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