Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The power of my boobs compel you
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
This toilet bowl is my home.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
