hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
