Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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