so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
