Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize