have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
