I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she peed on how many people?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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