I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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