I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
