all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
