he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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