i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
