Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
