i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
