So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
